The Movie Diorama

Mom and Dad may be the only reason to justify divorces. Nicolas Cage, the legend that he is, smashes a pool table (that he just built) with a sledgehammer whilst excitedly singing the "Hokey Pokey", before shouting how his life has been a total ru... Read the full review »

The Witch slowly engraves its illustrious witchcraft into your mind. Not the first time I've watched this slow burner, and quite controversially I did not enjoy it. A couple of years fly by (faster than an old hag on a broom, might I add) and the... Read the full review »

Pay The Ghost most likely only paid Cage's salary. Y'know the feeling where you watch the first twenty minutes and think to yourself "wow, I'm actually surprised. So far this is really decent!", only for it to quickly decline into a predictable bo... Read the full review »

The Wicker Man is on a whole different level of entertainment. The infamous remake that defines the "so-bad-it's-good" type of film. The internet phenomenon that produced two of the greatest memes to have ever graced our monitors. The start of Cag... Read the full review »

Zombieland is sugary, spicy and with a little dash of Murray. While 'Shaun of the Dead' started the trend of blending the undead with self-referential comedy (and arguably the better film), Zombieland puts the "Z" in zany. Both a survival horror a... Read the full review »

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies & Swords & Martial Arts & Just...urghhhh. Suffice to say, I didn't enjoy this. No point dancing around the inevitable conclusion. This just didn't work for me. Now, I'm sure the source material parodies Austen's origina... Read the full review »

Death Race is the deadliest game of Mario Kart ever. Swap green shells for machine guns, switch red shells for armour piercing missiles and substitute banana skins for napalm. This. Is. Statham Kart. Anderson unleashed his inner Michael Bay with t... Read the full review »

Hounds of Love, much like a canine, demands attention before savaging your mind. Australian cinema continues to impress with a remarkably confident debut from writer/director Ben Young. A subtle horror thriller that explores psychological tendenci... Read the full review »

Ouija was more disposable than a freshly moistened squeegee. Look, I don't mind the odd forgettable mass produced Hollywood horror. Some of them uphold a unique charm that makes them perfect for a friendly film night with deliciously cheesy pizza.... Read the full review »

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage glistens with brutal murders and thrills, if occasionally unpolished. Dario Argento's directorial debut is one that would cement him as the leading figure of the giallo movement. Frame cuts, vivid imagery, viscera... Read the full review »

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom injects blockbusting life into this prehistoric franchise. I'm going to start off with a bold statement. I believe this is the best sequel since the original. Take a moment, let that sink in. Want to know why? Simple... Read the full review »

The Last House On The Left went so far left that I couldn't make a U-turn. Well...suffice to say I was not expecting that. Craven's original isn't exactly a masterpiece, but much to my surprise (or lack of...), a remake was made and here we are. A... Read the full review »

The Devil's Backbone boasts a spine-tingling tragic ghost story. Del Toro isn't just a director, but an artist. His work transcends limitations by merging entertainment with high-quality art without ever succumbing to pretentiousness. His second S... Read the full review »

xXx The Next Level does just that, if the game was 'Duke Nukem Forever'. I now know what xXx actually stands for. An eXtremely eXcruciating Xzibit. Y'know, when the main star of the original and its director choose not to participate in the sequel... Read the full review »

Hush silences noisy distractions with its deafeningly precise direction. Flanagan is certainly a director I've had my eye on. 'Oculus' was a surprisingly neat horror/thriller and this domestic slasher is no different. Clean, concise and packing pl... Read the full review »

Knowing unknowingly succumbs to plot implausibilities and conveniences. This is another case of an interesting premise being weighted down by terrible writing. Proyas has an acute eye for visually arresting set pieces, but unfortunately these can'... Read the full review »