The Wicker Man (2006)

The Wicker Man (2006)

2006 PG-13 102 Minutes

Mystery | Thriller | Horror

A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.

Overall Rating

5 / 10
Verdict: So-So

User Review

  • The Wicker Man is on a whole different level of entertainment. The infamous remake that defines the "so-bad-it's-good" type of film. The internet phenomenon that produced two of the greatest memes to have ever graced our monitors. The start of Cage's downfall into lunacy and madness, solidifying his name as a legend. Nicolas Cage gives birth to "Cage Rage". You've all seen the reviews. You are all aware of its status as being one of the worst remakes of all time. Neo-paganism makes a full comeback as a police officer investigates a missing girl case on a mysterious island where women after named after plants and bees are everywhere. And yes, this film is terrible. Inept. Catastrophically tame. Absurdly non-sensical. The script is atrocious and the horrifically exaggerated performances of monotony and craziness only adds to this detrimental...thing. I have no need to review this, my opinion will not enlighten you with wonderment. Yet, I found myself entranced. I'm putting it on record that I enjoyed The Wicker Man. For all the wrong reasons, sure. But its unintentional humour made for one of the best viewing experiences I've had in quite some time. So. Many. Laughs. A colleague stating "I heard you are resigning?" to then immediately ask "so you are going for the detective position?". Cage maniacally running around the island for a good five minutes. "How'd it get burnt?...How'd it get burnt? HOW'D IT GET BURNT!?". Cage dressed in a bear costume, galloping to a woman and punching her in the face. "I'm a police officer, see my badgeeee!". Cage is coincidentally allergic to bees, and runs through a bee farm. Everything is a hexagon. "Colony". Dream-ception. "Not the bees! No! Ahhhh! My eyes! My eyessssahshlahsha!". Phew, I'm done. This, this is just a thing of beauty. It's so damn good, and I don't even care. The most shocking claim I shall make is, it's not the worst film I've seen. In fact, it's not getting my worst rating (due to some scenes genuinely holding my attention). This has absolutely nothing on the original, and advise you watch that. Still, God damn loved this.