The Movie Diorama

Hellboy portrays its impossible titular character with blazing fire and childish charm. A superhero blockbuster shrouded in Del Toro's signature darkness, bringing a relatively unknown graphic novel into the spotlight. This accessibly entertaining... Read the full review »

Devil's Due should've considered having an abortion. 'Rosemary's Baby' meets 'Paranormal Activity' in what is possibly the most uninspired "found-footage" low budget horror since, well, 'Paranormal Activity 2'. What could've been an engaging metap... Read the full review »

Pet Sematary digs up the original and requests to be put down again. A remake needs to justify its existence. It needs to be different enough whilst retaining the source material. This remake of the 89' original of the adaptation of King's cult no... Read the full review »

Pet Sematary teases that "sometimes dead is better", including this adaptation. More of a supernatural drama than a horror, this Stephen King adaptation (to which he wrote the screenplay) gently touches upon the themes of its source material. Now,... Read the full review »

Shazam! shockingly refreshes the superhero sub-genre through childish behaviour. After the pleasant surprise that was 'Aquaman', it seemed that DC found its feet and could pretty much tackle anything. So when I heard that a film was being produced... Read the full review »

The Day The Earth Stood Still remains a stoic pillar of science-fiction. "Gort! Klaatu barada nikto". Four words that have transcended time and fortified a legacy for a film that would be deemed culturally significant. Wise's 1951 original classic... Read the full review »

Piranha 3D stupidly bites and chomps its way to the third dimension. Remaking Dante's 1978 original was bound to happen at some point. Hollywood has run out of ideas for fishy B-movie horrors. So here we have a modernisation of the schlock-fest th... Read the full review »

The First Avenger confidently throws its shield in enjoyable acts of heroism. Captain America. The man everyone wants to become. Pure hearted, self-sacrificing bravery and a body that could make anyone swoon (me especially). This phase one origin... Read the full review »

My Bloody Valentine 3D mines for quality slashing with its rusty pickaxe. These gimmicky horror remakes from the late 00s were plaguing the horror genre. Low-budget yet profitable adaptations that remove any charm the original contained. For this... Read the full review »

Virgin School fuels the ever-pointless challenge of losing one's virginity. Apparently, losing your virginity is such a big issue and a massive step into "becoming a man", that there is a course in Amsterdam that allows students to enrol and lose... Read the full review »

Stronger picks itself up from dramatic clichés with its burly Boston grit. The Boston marathon bombings were, at the time of this review, six years ago. Six years since the stable city had its foundations shaken to the core by an act of terrorism... Read the full review »

Animism presents an unusual sexual attraction but with no depth or analysis. Object Sexuality, or "OS" if you can't be bothered to constantly say the whole blurb, is the attraction to inanimate objects. Not necessarily a physical relationship, but... Read the full review »

Piranha nibbles its way through pure B-movie schlock. The 70s. The box office was ruled by shark infested waters thanks to the masterpiece that was 'Jaws'. Many amateur directors at the time were capitalising on its success, which soon started a n... Read the full review »

Goodbye Christopher Robin nostalgically hikes through the Hundred-Acre Woods at a pedestrian pace. A. A. Milne is widely regarded as one of the greatest authors of all time. His imaginative books involving Winnie-the-Pooh are often vital pieces of... Read the full review »