The Movie Diorama

Sharknado...yup, sharks and tornados. I have no energy to write a witty introductory sentence. No puns. No jokes. Not even an opinion. Just the fact that this is a film about tiger, hammerhead and great white sharks swirling around in a meteorolog... Read the full review »

The Open House opens wide to a series of unsatisfying plot holes. For a thriller to be engaging, it must be cohesive. Summoning tension at every corner as the film progresses to create a conclusion that both pumps the adrenaline and make logical s... Read the full review »

Brain On Fire feels like a missed opportunity for a medical revelatory drama. Biographical stories should be interesting, conveying an individual's intriguing life with perhaps some elements of fictionalisation. This drama felt almost entirely fic... Read the full review »

Pride joyfully prides itself in being a feel good, if occasionally flat, comedic drama. It's a rare occurrence to encounter a historic British LGBT film that manages to be entertaining and somewhat informative, with minimal fictionalisation. Much... Read the full review »

Gerald's Game behaves much like a prostitute, heavily focused to begin with but then fails to shut up towards the climax. That may not be the most appropriate simile, yet it accurately illustrates the well-intentioned promiscuity and rapid downfal... Read the full review »

Jack and Jill has officially ended me. I've hit rock bottom. I cannot go any lower. Burning in hell would be more entertaining than watching this "comedy" again. Satan...take me! One Sandler still making outdated comedies is more than enough. To h... Read the full review »

In The Name Of The King is as "epic" as watching a blind amateur role-playing battle. Sixty million dollars!? You give a sizeable budget like that to Uwe Boll? A director infamous worldwide for producing some of the worst films ever made? Unsurpri... Read the full review »

One Missed Call is one film you do not want to answer, or in this case watch. I think I've found it. Ladies and gentleman, this is the worst American remake of a Japanese horror that I have had the misfortune of watching. Not once. Not twice. But... Read the full review »

The Equalizer 2 packs twice as much humanity but loses double the amount of memorable action. Its predecessor was a pleasant surprise, with both Fuqua and Washington crafting another solid film together. The dream team return for the sequel and, w... Read the full review »

Ultraviolet burnt my retinas with its high intensity filter. The all too common trait of "style over substance" strikes again. Except this time there is absolutely no substance in what is an instantly forgettable generic plot. But I'll be damned,... Read the full review »

The Happening...happened. Shyamalan had something to prove. After the atrocity that was 'Lady in the Water', he needed to create another 'The Sixth Sense' before losing faith from the film community. How did he tackle this? Well, with this film. T... Read the full review »

Season of the Witch has more possessed dead monks than a Christian music festival. A 14th Century backdrop, witchcraft, crusader battles and Foy are all elements that should've made for a thrilling, if not watchable, film. Conversely we are presen... Read the full review »

Lady In The Water dragged me down to its watery grave. The start of the relentless downhill slope that is Shyamalan's career, this fantasy drama is murkier than polluted swamp water. What did I just witness? Seriously, I mean seriously! This isn't... Read the full review »

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women depicts a fascinating tale that fabricated America's ultimate female superhero. Typical comic book artists would purely utilise their imagination to create fictional worlds and leading superheroes. William Ma... Read the full review »

'Unfriended: Dark Web' uses the same previous gimmicky setup but for a more realistic result. Being a computer programmer myself, it is extremely rare to encounter a film that utilises software correctly. Obviously, copyright and other laws protec... Read the full review »