Season of the Witch (2011)

Season of the Witch (2011)

2011 PG-13 95 Minutes

Adventure | Fantasy | Action

A 14th century Crusader (Cage) returns with his comrade (Perlman) to a homeland devastated by the Black Plague. The Church commands the two knights to transport a witch (Foy) to a remote abbey, whe...

Overall Rating

5 / 10
Verdict: So-So

User Review

  • Season of the Witch has more possessed dead monks than a Christian music festival. A 14th Century backdrop, witchcraft, crusader battles and Foy are all elements that should've made for a thrilling, if not watchable, film. Conversely we are presented with Cage (post-'Kick-Ass'), weak characters, dreary interchangeable plot scenarios and a third act that decimates the entirety of the film that preceded it. Pass me some holy water, I need to cleanse my eyes from what I just watched. So, two knights decide to leave the crusade and are approached by a cardinal who is infected with the plague. He believes that a witch has caused this pandemic and asks of them to escort her to a monastery where a group of monks can trial her. Along their perilous journey consisting of crossing a rickety wooden bridge, battling monstrous wolves and chasing conspicuous visions, they talk amongst themselves. But they don't just talk and naturally communicate, oh no no. They. Talk. About. Their. Entire. Life. Stories. The whole narrative is a continuous requirement for forced backstory to the most forgettable and thinly written characters ever. An altar boy joins the brigade? Let's engage him in a role-playing sword fight that relishes in imitating a TV show-like quality and just talk. Setting up camp? Let's talk about our lives. The "witch" is crying on the floor after being lashed? Let's get to know her, I wonder what she's having for dinner tonight! An absolutely uninteresting group of generic actors that look like they've purposefully made their own costumes for a 'Game of Thrones' convention. Not even Cage and Perlman could save this drivel, although they clearly are the strongest cast members amidst the good production design. Accents were lost from Foy and Sheehan. Blatant green screen was utilised during dialogue exchanges, despite being shot on location. Then, a tediously unimaginative plot twist unveils itself and makes way for horrific CGI creatures, that turns a historical medieval "thriller" into a fantasy fricking mess. Actually, screw the holy water, pass me that crested sword. I'm gouging my eyes out instead.