The Movie Diorama

The Curse of La Llorona cries itself to sleep with ineffective jump scares and a repetitive plot. "The Bad Spell of My Sharona". "What's the Capital of Arizona?". "I'd Rather Be in Barcelona!". The metaphysical entity that has now manifested into... Read the full review »

Love & Friendship offers courtly romance through delectably exquisite dialogue. Austen's period work has nearly been fully adapted, but trust her novella 'Lady Susan' to be one of the most fulfilling costume dramas available. It's not a perfect sw... Read the full review »

Mojave deserts basic thrills for a pretentious outlook on wealth and happiness. "From the acclaimed writer of The Departed" is not a sentence to be messed with. Considering how smartly written (for the most part...) the aforementioned film was, on... Read the full review »

Batman Forever is a puzzling riddle wrapped in a schlocky superhero enigma. Burton has moved on, only labelling himself as a producer. The continuity has been reset. Keaton is no longer "The Bat". There was only one director that could transform a... Read the full review »

Dorian Gray paints a tediously dull portrait of a lifeless character portrayal. A little known fact about me, Wilde's gothic novel 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' is in fact one of my favourite pieces of literature to ever be put on paper. It's views... Read the full review »

In The Electric Mist mystifies by containing no thrilling shocks and feeling exhaustingly endless. As always, I've not read Burke's original novel, because I rarely have time to watch all the films I want to let alone read books (blasphemy, I know... Read the full review »

How To Talk To Girls At Parties tepidly blends punk rock with otherworldly romance. Bizarre. Immaculately bizarre. An ambitious empty shell that struggles to develop its themes and characters. The equivalent of banging your head to The Sex Pistols... Read the full review »

Short Term 12 cares for its viewers by making them feel every emotion possible. There's nothing more special and valuable in life than raising a child. It's thought to be one of the most rewarding experiences available. To see parents ignore, diso... Read the full review »

The Lincoln Lawyer points its finger and exclaims "alright, objection!" through dreadful direction. Yet another frustrating experience. Given the acclaim this courtroom thriller has received, and a pivotal moment in what is informally known as the... Read the full review »

The Cold Light of Day should be kept in the cold dark of night. Sigourney mother flippin' Weaver. She's my double-edged sword. I love her for just being so damn perfect, but I also hate her for starring in incoherently dull rubbish like this. Unde... Read the full review »

Greta stalks unassuming girls in a predictable yet enjoyable thriller. If you see a luxurious green handbag left on the subway, with no one claiming it, what would you do? Director Jordan, who has been plugging away at films for over two decades n... Read the full review »

RocknRolla has the hard exterior of a rock but rarely flowingly rolls. Guy Ritchie, after a batch of terrible films, sits in his slickly greased up metallic director's chair, hard as nails, and activates "Full Ritchie Mode". This British gangster... Read the full review »

Tenebrae stylishly unravels a murder mystery resembling its titular novel. The Italian mastermind behind the giallo movement, Argento once again provides another enthralling crime investigative thriller poised with provocative imagery and plenty o... Read the full review »

Pineapple Express presumably can only be enjoyed whilst high. Bro, this was vastly overrated bro, like, bro. Stoner comedies man, just not my vibe. Smokin' pot, laughin' life away, everything becomes exaggeratively dumb and annoying. Yeah, man. Pi... Read the full review »

The Hills Have Eyes grounds itself in mounds of blood, gore and mutant carnage. The last decade embellished in horror remakes, some absolutely abysmal that shan't be discussed whilst others were just rolling around in mediocrity like a pig in mud.... Read the full review »

John Q. injects a dosage of exaggerated thrills into a medical commentary. America's healthcare system has been one economic infrastructure that challenges many individuals, although to be honest, most nations face the same criticism of dissatisfa... Read the full review »

Baby Mama feels lighter and slightly more colourful than a used pregnancy test. Fey and Poehler were the 'Saturday Night Live' dream team. Consistently witty and constantly hilarious. But these results are usually produced when they are performing... Read the full review »