The Movie Diorama

Crawl floods its claustrophobic gator-infested environment with sheer stupidity. Like the rest of you, I enjoy a decent B-movie that knows when to fully exercise its ridiculous premise. Last year's 'The Meg', whilst not fully embellishing its 'Jaw... Read the full review »

The Innkeepers is one mundane hotel that I shan't be staying in again. Is this the turning point? The realisation that I'm going psychotic? West's horror film is being lauded by critics and professional peers alike, including genre enthusiast Eli... Read the full review »

Anchorman 2 is anchored down by a series of unfunny rapid quick fire jokes that managed to put this sequel off air. 'The Legend Continues' is about as legendary as Fantana's condom collection, the "chickens of unnecessary sequels" if you will. Now... Read the full review »

Ex Machina generates cerebral philosophies that both entertain and stimulate. As a computer programmer and all-round technologist, I'm consistently in awe of the advancements made in the development of artificial intelligence. It provides many dis... Read the full review »

Cinema Paradiso sincerely captures the paradisiacal pleasure of film. Bellissimo! One of life's greatest delectations is the medium of film, more specifically the cinema establishments. A cinema was, well still is, able to bring together a communi... Read the full review »

For The Birds slingshots a flocking bunch of aviary meanies in fittingly humorous fashion. Ever been the obtuse outcast that just wanted to join in, but were greeted by a group of selfish beak-faced bullies that just wouldn't let you cling onto th... Read the full review »

Visitors is unable to convey a meaningful message through its sequential clips. Well, this one certainly tested my patience. Director Reggio, known for his illustrious "Qatsi" trilogy, attempts to thematically explore humanity's relationship with... Read the full review »

Blockers blocked out all creativity by relying on clumsy clichés and profane predictability. Another film about glorious prom night, losing one's cursed virginity and having the time of your laugh as you drink, consume baked drugs and unleash vis... Read the full review »

The Endless repetitiously increases its cosmic horror through its convoluted complexity. Whenever a feature, particularly an indie flick, commences its story with a quote from Lovecraft, you just know you're in for a bizarre journey. To review The... Read the full review »

Kung Fu Panda sporadically uses the Wuxi Finger Hold to produce an uneven yet delightful animation. A family-oriented parody animation, paying homage to the classic martial arts features that clearly inspired it. 'The Karate Kid', 'Enter The Drago... Read the full review »

Insidious Chapter 3 journeys further back into the "Further" with further jump scares and a commonplace plot. Long-time collaborator Whannell takes the helm in what is his directorial debut, a prequel to Wan's insanely popular franchise. The Lambe... Read the full review »

Rocky delivers a knockout performance with a script more balanced than the southpaw stance. The underdog story of all underdog stories. Allowed Stallone to climb more steps to stardom than Philadelphia's Museum of Art. Accumulated enough box offic... Read the full review »

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood forced me to recall that the golden age of filmmaking was never this tedious. Not even Tarantino with his blood-soaked trademark violence can save this year from mediocrity. It's abundantly clear that his ninth film i... Read the full review »

Kill Bill Vol. 1 slashes its way through sword wielding extras in Tarantino's trademark style. His ode to Japanese cinema, merging Western tropes with Eastern aesthetics. Blending stylised filters, utilising excessive spraying blood and embedding... Read the full review »

Invader Zim: Enter The Florpus made me want to roll around in layers of pizza, laughing joyously through nostalgic eyes. Invader Zim was probably the core essence of my childhood, and notably being one of Nickelodeon's best intellectual properties... Read the full review »

300 is ab-solutely ab-tastic yet ab-horrently boring. Homoeroticism at its most stylish. Lumps of pure visualised muscle walking in sandals and red togas. Obnoxiously loud roars piercing the battlegrounds, asserting the Spartan masculinity to the... Read the full review »