Baywatch (2017)
2017
R
Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.
User Review
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Baywatch...did it really need to be made into a film? I mean really? Who possibly thought this was a good idea? I mean...Baywatch! Have Hollywood seriously run out of ideas that they are now consistently pumping out films from TV Series? 'The A-Team' was tolerable, this was just pointless. Lifeguards of the "Baywatch" team take it upon themselves to unravel a drug smuggling, property purchasing and countless murdering case that plagues the beach. "Why not just let the police deal with this?" is a line consistently spoken. I would agree, but then chances are we would have a 'Hawaii Five-O' film in our midst and I just cannot deal with another one of these mundane disasters. So lifeguards abandon their own beach and perform a variety of illegal activities like, but not limited to: high speed boat pursuits, imitating professions (such as a doctor) and playing around with dead people. The 'Suicide Squad' are more qualified to look after this beach!? God damn. I knew as soon as the massive titles came up out of the ocean on a noticeable green screen, with a barrage of explosions and flailing dolphins...that I was in for an experience. Credit to Dwayne Johnson though, he still gives everything his all and never fails to make me smile. I did laugh three times due to Johnson name calling Efron "High School Musical", "NSYNC" and "One Direction". I did get a good chuckle from that. Everyone looked the part I guess, plenty of slow motion running with jiggly boobs and wet hair (if that's your thing...). Hasselhoff and Anderson make cameo appearances, rejoice! But heck, even their brief performances couldn't save this oceanic mess. The story was generic with a boring antagonist. The noticeable green screen was extremely noticeable that even I noticed the noticeable green screen. Did I forget to mention it was noticeable? The worst CGI fire ever is included. Jon Bass was not even remotely funny. And, to top it all, they thought to joke about making a sequel. A sequel!? Good luck. Johnson needs to step up and pick some better projects, his persona is wasted here.0 member like this review.
