Laura and Massimo are back and hotter than ever. But the reunited couple's new beginning is complicated by Massimo’s family ties and a mysterious man who enters Laura’s life to win her heart an...
The sudden arrival of 365 Days: This Day completely threw me off my already scrambled review schedule; it got bad once I found out about it and it became a collective tape of cringy night terrors once I watched it.
At least now I got an obvious pick for worst film of the year.
I legitimately could restate every issue I had with the previous film on a checklist and just leave it at that but at this point, this movie, no, this series is just asking for a two hour long spanking. Whoever wrote and directed this, to their credit, know who their audience is and want they want so every decision made here is to appease to those needs; that’s not the problem. By continuing to romanticize abusive and manipulative behavior, it keeps lowering and lowering that already wobbling bar of What The Fuckery until it breaks beyond repair especially since whenever the film isn’t trying to be a makeshift Brazzers production featuring polish Kissa Sins (which again, it does fine at), it has no idea what to do with itself.
And the most infuriating thing about this entire presentation is that THEY’RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE and they’re PROUD of it.
Dismal dialogue is somehow even more artificial than before, the physical amount of tonal whiplash contrasting from scene to scene is almost, ALMOST comical only hurt by how obviously scattershot and lazy the main plot is and its hurt even further by every character acting like the dumbest ciphers since Alien: Covenant to move the story along. Disregarding the ending of the first film was bad enough, but for a film that has so little plot and enough filler to thrust in at least two fuck sessions every 10 minutes, there is SO MUCH random shit thrown at the wall here just for the sake of surprising its viewer that it has no literal recollection of time, place or setting. No decent budget is going to fix the most excessively annoying and random soundtrack in recent memory, another hilarious cop-out cliffhanger ending, an atmosphere completely devoid of tension or arousal, and most of these actors barely being able to act wet in a tsunami or hardly emote at all.
May I also remind you how insipidly draining the pacing is?
This is probably the worst incarnation of this accursed formula that I have ever seen: worse than the first film, worst than the 50 Shades trilogy, worse than After, especially worse than Twilight. It’s only saving grace is the book somehow manages to be twice as insane and insulting than this movie; this is the dumbed down version of that and it’s still an assault on all five senses. Just end my suffering, please…..
