From the creators of Scary Movie and Date Movie comes this tongue-in-cheek parody of the sword-and-sandal epics, dubbed Meet the Spartans. The 20th Century Fox production was written and directed b...
Meet The Spartans kicked Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and my soul into a deep, dark pit of death...300 times. “This is just a cheap spoof of that ‘300’ film”. That, right there, is a literal quote from this coma-inducing parody. An abomination that believes itself to be so self-aware, that it has transcended comedy as an entire genre. No, seriously. Friedberg and Seltzer fully acknowledge how low they have stooped, just for one measly laugh from a societal degenerate watching this in the hope they are experiencing a future masterpiece.
Within the first whole minute of runtime, baby Shrek vomits on a peasant and is subsequently kicked down a cliff, abandoned to die for its deformity. A Vietnamese child is then gently put on display for “Brangelina” to waltz on over and adopt the youngling, seemingly mocking their generous intents as doting parents. And then Leonidas, with a fully grown beard at the age of one, is accepted as a Spartan. But to become king, he must endure brutal training in order to hunt down (wait for it...) “gangsta penguin”. Essentially ‘Happy Feet’ with a black man’s attitude. Years later Carmen Electra erotically dances, objecting herself and women in general for all those white nerdy virgins who want to bash one out in front of the screen, and a messenger from Xerxes wanders across. He is taught the gender greetings within Sparta. High fives for the ladies, and open mouthed kissing with tongues for the gents. Aren’t gay jokes absolutely frickin’ hilarious? Blah blah blah, Leonidas shouts the famous line and kicks the messenger down a badly visualised pit. Along with Britney Spears during her mid-life crisis shaving moment, the panel from ‘American Idol’ and some other singer who doesn’t ring any bells with me whatsoever.
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s all you need to know about Meet The Spartans. Just a montage of celebrity re-enactments, American game/talent shows, a plethora of “spoofs” from unrelated films released in ‘07 and a bunch of actors destroying the flimsy remains that they call “careers”. Sexual exploitation, homophobic slurs and borderline racism round off the “humour” that opts to gross viewers out instead of injecting some stimulating hilarity. So yeah, no thanks. The irony in all this, is that this isn’t the worst parody feature from these directors! Mind-boggling to say the least. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan predictably gets mocked once again...
