You ever feel in the mood for….just wanting to watch something crappy but still a little flavorful? That was my mindset going into “Irish Wish”…..and I wish I was more cynical about that approach from the offset.
Of all the days I had to watch this, why did it have to be St. Patrick’s Day?
I am convinced this story was deliberately going out of its way to make the most unoriginal, cliched-ridden rom-com in the history of movies and given how naturally synthetic and artificial it’s building blocks are to get from Point A to D, there’s really no use in arguing against that. All there is is just these anonymous ciphers dicking around gorgeous landscapes and houses for 90 minutes and even with the pacing being fairly digestible, you’re just watching these cliches play out with no extra sauce to spice ‘em up and with the bare minimum of character development to trudge along with. Again, there’s nothing wrong with having cliches as the basics and you can argue that this is their way of having fun but just going through the motions…..isn’t cool with me.
Despite this movies desperate grasping-at-straws argument to the contrary, there is next to no plot to really pick out or decipher; its cliched tropes ARE the entire premise here and the few times the plot accidentally hints at or shows the slightest interest in its own metaphysical implications, it’s alternate reality timeline hopping - basically anything that tries to think outside the box - they immediately shut it down. The damn thing isn’t even trying to hide how deeply coated with Hallmark-esque glossy lip lacquer its entire production is and whether or not that’s your preferred preference is up to you but man, they make it very easy to cringe or roll your eyes at this. And to think, Falling For Christmas wasn’t all that better by comparison but at least the setting in that movie gave it more of an excuse to be kitschly charming (considering Christmas movies have been doing that for decades) and it gave Lindsay a lot more to do.
It is strictly autopilot with Janeen Damian, very “tell, don’t show” with the manner she maneuvers through the whole dull affair. There’s almost nothing of note I can bring myself to say on her directing because it hardly felt like anyone was doing it.
Clearly, the lighting has been overdone and polished as per usual Netflix ventures but someone clearly put a dial too high on the color saturation too; thankfully, it doesn’t put that big of a dent on what is rather pedestrian camerawork; hoary establishing shots up the wazoo notwithstanding. And the editing, oh my god, that was embarrassing.
But not as embarrassing as the cheesy-ass dialogue or the general cheapness of they continue to make these beaten-to-death stereotypes as childish as possible. The fiddle-heavy folk music easily beats out the plainly traditional overly-dramatic romantical score we’re so used to hearing (although I guess that’s not THAT BIG of a compliment) and from a set design/production design standpoint, this is no Banshees of Inisherin. Just looking at the bustling coastlines and delicate beauty of the Emerald Isle may be pretty and all but window dressing is as far as the proceedings go, which is especially annoying to me because I went to Ireland back in 2016. Might’ve felt like a lifetime ago but I still remember there being so much more to it than what this movie provided. If you really wanted to center the movie around Saint Brigid, more emphasis on that thread would’ve helped.
With that being said, with ALL THAT criticism I rained down on this unlucky charm……if you are going to watch this movie, do it strictly for Lindsay Lohan because she is the only legitimately positive thing coming out of this. Naturalism seems to be her biggest strength as an actress and between her innate comedic chops and her ability to turn even the most childish, basic of dialogue exchanges into something more native, I had forgotten how much I genuinely missed seeing Lindsey on my screen.
Hell, her chemistry with Ed Speelers is pretty half decent. The rest of the cast are fairly….fine too, I suppose and very few dialogue exchanges actually got a chuckle out of me.
No French kissing on the Blarney Stone will ever wipe away the near-anodyne stench of yet another Netflix dud. If this is fun for Lindsay, I won’t discourage that; I can appreciate it if this is how she wants her career rehab to go for a little bit, but I do think branching out would also help.
