BloodRayne (2005)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  BloodRayne soaks itself in thin, washable and extremely irritant blood. At that point in time, the master of direction that is Uwe Boll had already conceived two video game adaptations that were critically panned. His third attempt was no different. Now, I've not played the video game that this film is based on, but have seen footage and am aware of its gameplay style. Aside from the sheer amount of gore and improvised action sequences, it pretty much neglects its source material (whoa...shock!). Rayne, a cross-breed of human and vampire, joins a society that hunts down vampires so that she can kill the Vampire King who raped and killed her mother. A simple revenge plot with supernatural aesthetics, except her vengeance was dull and the vampires were weaker than outdated holy water. I have to give some praise to Boll, who does stick to a gothic style of some sort that makes this film have an identity. Sure, it's generically medieval and you shan't remember anything the next day, but it does the job. That's about all the praise I can give it. Boll is unable to direct his A-list cast, and they are able to overpower him by doing the bare minimal. Madsen literally didn't give a toss. Kingsley was thinking "hmmm what other bad film can I be in?" (which turns out to be 'The Love Guru'). Rodriguez, Zane and Chaplin were all just pointless. Loken actually gave the acting a go, my advice would be to give up now. And Meat Loaf, well...that entire scene was all kinds of messed up. Boll actually hired prostitutes instead of extras, he was probably thinking "I must release my inner Hitchcock! Meat Loaf, sign this contract stating that if you get a STD that it is not my fault!". The screenplay had no characterisation. The plot was one-dimensional and unsurprisingly lost focus many times. No seriously, there's a complete ten minute scene where she activate a booby trap and all of a sudden a quest to find three body parts commences. Basically, it's another cheap-looking TV movie that once again has a decent budget gone to waste. Boll should just not be given any money to waste...

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