I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  I Know Who Killed Me murdered itself with its baffling stigmatic plot. Right, so this isn't the worst film I've ever seen (you can now breathe a sigh of relief...). But when I say this "thriller" truly makes no sense, I mean it with the deepest shade of blue. But more on the blue symbolism later. Sivertson's psychological execution had me guessing for hours...just how much Lohan paid the director to do a strip tease. Seriously it's enough to turn any straight man gay. "Oh, she's suggestively moving that cigarette...ohhh yes, it brushed passed her entrance. Delicious!". So, a young student is abducted and tortured by a serial killer. She makes it out alive but insists her identity is of another woman, a stripper named Dakota Moss. The story juggles between two theories. She's either delusional and her heightened state of fear caused her to create another identity, or she actually has a twin sister. I shan't spoil it for you, but the end result is predictably underwhelming regardless so you aren't missing out. Amidst the terrible acting, horrific screenplay and mediocre special effects, is a mysterious plot that has more holes than Lohan's cocaine abused nostrils. We are led to believe that the mystical phenomenon of stigmatic twins could be a potential answer to this mystery? To a point where entire limbs are severed in seconds!? Wait! We are led to believe that Aubrey writes an entire fictional novel about Dakota without any prior knowledge of her existence!? Hold up! Her prosthetic leg has the flexibility and manoeuvrability of a real leg!? Hang on! Dakota finds a blue ribbon and just happens to know "I Know Who Killed Me" and doesn't call the police!? Blue ribbon, blue roses, blue glass coffin, blue scene transitions, blue filters, blue bedroom, blue gloves. Why. Is. Everything. Blue? This isn't 'Suspiria' or some Lynch masterpiece where it's clever enough to uphold symbolic colours. This is Lohan stripping for men with a severed finger, where her mother actively listens to her having sex. If that sounds like the film for you, enjoy! To everyone else, avoid.

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