Skeeter Bronson is a down-on-his-luck guy who's always telling bedtime stories to his niece and nephew. But his life is turned upside down when the fantastical stories he makes up for entertainment...
Bedtime Stories is sure to grant you a lingering nightmare than a pleasant dream. Sandler is at it again! Bringing down talented actors in his wake. Understandably, me being a mid-20s soulless shell, this film was not intended for me. It's cheese on top of more cheese, with a side order of cheese delivered on a platter made out of cheese. However, I like to think children back in 2008 were intelligent enough to not succumb to patronising sentimentality. Regardless, it's a poorly constructed fantasy drama that has far too many bumps in the night. A hotel maintenance man yearns to have control of his father's empire, but lacks the self-belief to do so. Every night, the stories he tells his sister's kids miraculously come true, making dreams become reality.
As endearing and beguiling as the moral of the story sounds, it's an utter failure in the hands of Happy Madison Productions. Despite some very talented cast members, mostly Pearce, Griffiths, Palmer and Lawless, trying to extrapolate the bare basic humour from the screenplay, I released zero chuckles. In fact, probably minus one chuckle, for breathing in massively from yawning which could be mistaken for laughing as I'm an obnoxiously loud yawner. Every joke, gag or visualised laugh felt flat upon delivery.
Sandler no longer has the charisma to lead a family-orientated film, he just looks bored with his melting face. He is portraying the central character that we are supposed to feel sympathy for, yet he exhumed no personality except equipping childish and immature behaviour. Russell, bless her, actually gave a good performance and I'm apologising on her behalf for her involvement in this snooze-fest. Brand was bland. Cox was too busy plasticising her face to be in the film much.
The narrative is atrociously paced, mostly due to the stagnant plot and lack of fantastical elements, making ninety nine minutes feel like three hours. The production design was cheap, with notable usage of green screen and terrible costumes. A guinea pig with irregularly huge eyes? Why? I don't get it. What's the point? At least the motorbike sequence was well edited I guess, shame the rest of the film wasn't. Oh, and how could I forget about the forced romance that nobody asked for.
Safe to say, once the predictable conclusion hit my face, I was wanting to wake up from this eternal nightmare. Will children enjoy this? No. They will simply tolerate it so that you parents can have a good hour and half of peace and quiet. Although admittedly, you'll have to survive this with them. I gave you another chance Sandler, and you let me down!
