Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

User Review

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  TheMovieDiorama

  4 / 10

  Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge is another reason why some franchises need to end. This is no longer a pirate movie where captains and sailors are getting double crossed, we have now entered the territory of the fantasy genre. In this entry, everyone wants to find the Trident of Poseidon (all for different reasons) and so naturally we have ships, sword fights and a ghostly zombie army who can walk on water!? First things first, Javier Bardem was menacing. He has the villain roles for a reason, because he is great at them. Salazar is another memorable character to the franchise and does have some back story (which is one of the best scenes in the film). Geoffrey Rush returns as Barbossa and is consistent as always. The visual effects were aesthetically pleasing and was used creatively. The production design is magnificent and the action set pieces are imaginative and interesting to watch. And who can forget about the musical score! It's perfect. But that's about all the film has going for it. Johnny Depp is no longer Jack Sparrow, he is now just imitating himself playing Jack Sparrow. It didn't feel right, it felt completely off right from the start. Our two new leads are dull, boring and uncharismatic. Orlando Bloom and Elizabeth Swan return for a scene at the end which was absolutely FORCED!?! Why why why why whyyyyy...we didn't need it. The cameo from Paul McCartney felt strange and off putting. But the main crime here is the script, good lord it is full of exposition! Each character will speak the plot, like: "we must give Jack Sparrow to the army of the dead so that they can spare us." and that is said completely randomly, y'know...just to remind us of the story. It's clunky, messy and unimpressive. The plot just grows more convoluted as the film progresses. This is easily the weakest film in the franchise and perhaps a sign that they should stop making more. Such a shame, I wanted to like this but it's just mediocre at best.

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