It's the ultimate buddy cop movie except for one thing: they're not cops. When two struggling pals dress as police officers for a costume party, they become neighborhood sensations. But when thes...
Let's Be Cops handcuffs itself into being the laziest comedy I've ever had the misfortune of watching. This is a first, ladies and gentlemen. I have never done this before in the entirety of my life, let alone in my current amateur critiquing days. You ready? Approximately fifty minutes in, I turned off the film. I couldn't do it to myself. I just couldn't! This. THIS. I made it through 'The Love Guru'. I survived 'Jack and Jill'. I watched 'Movie 43' and lived to tell the tale. But not this simple-minded "comedy". It flamboyantly waved everything I despise about modern American comedies right in my face, and I screamed "No!". Sit back and prepare yourselves, this isn't going to be pretty. Two friends, who are deemed failures in life, dress up as police officers and impersonate them in an attempt to spruce up their lives and have fun.
At the time I turned it off, the tone somewhat shifted into tackling local vigilantism with some strands of "taking justice into our own hands", but I didn't care. I witnessed enough torturous humour to cement my sentiments early one. As you know, I'm not susceptible to comedy. Without tooting my own police siren, my resistance to laughing is impenetrable. Fortunately there was no struggle here, as not a single line of dialogue was effective. No smiles were cracked. No chuckles were heard. I was dead, inside and out. Let's Be Cops is, essentially, a five minute sketch drawn out for an hour and a half. You aren't going to take anything away from this feature. Nothing. Just the solidification of one's natural ability to withstand self-torture.
Firstly, are the main characters that are so abhorrently frickin' unintelligent, that they had to physically type the words "impersonating a police officer offence" into a search engine, and be subsequently shocked by the revealed punishment? Have modern audiences degraded their minds so substantially that they find a naked obese man body slamming into one of the "cops", resting his sweaty genitals gently on their cranium, hilarious? Have we, as a species, become so unsophisticated that finding enjoyment from a child being forced to stab a man double his age to be outrageously funny behaviour? I apologise that I like my comedy with a hint of intelligence, but this was woeful. Absolutely frickin' dreadful. I'm sick and tired of these modern traits plaguing the genre. "Oh, well if we have the characters dress up as officers, then atleast we can shove ten minutes of partying, purchase a soundtrack predominantly comprising of dubstep and get those pubescent teens booking tickets immediately!".
The screenplay literally comprises of scenes, unconnected to each other, that play out as if they were one minute YouTube clips. Ah, they got the wrong dress code for the masquerade ball! Woops, frickin' hilarious though, right? Game developers wanting to make a video game that includes zombies. I can't breathe. No, not because it's so funny that they are commentating on an entire industry, but because they ARE commentating on an entire industry. God frickin' damn. Johnson and Wayans had no chemistry. None. The former wouldn't shut the hell up and was infatuated with the sound of his own voice. The latter looked so out of place and timid that Johnson was just eating him up alive. Then the sexism. Oh God, the sexism! It's ridiculous! A group of women floundering along shouting "Ohhh we have to kiss cops *mwah*". Go away. Stop. Enough.
You want to make a pro-police comedy? Grab a notebook, watch 'Hot Fuzz' and record the amount of times you laughed. Was it more than once? Well, that'll be one more than this piece of soul-draining pointlessly stupid incomprehensibly anger-inducing "comedy" has to offer.
Y'know what? I'm not even sorry I didn't finish this. Which is a shame, as D'Arcy looked to have put in a good performance. However, life goes on. This is the turning point. I'm not buying another modern comedy again. Unless they're unanimously praised, I'm avoiding them like the plague. Quite possibly one of the worst comedies I've watched, capitalising on crude behaviour for apparent laughs. Let's Be Anything But Cops. Heck, Let's Be Gravediggers.
