Fantastic Four (2015)

User Review

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  Fant4stic is the epitome of doomed reboots. Fant-4-Stic. Fantastic Four. Fant4stic Four. 4 Fant4stic. Fant-I honestly don't give a damn-stic. Well, everyone said it was dreadful. After years of avoidance, I finally took the plunge and delved into the modern reimagining of The Fantastic Four. Someone hold me! I can't. To formulate a review would be the equivalent of approaching 20th Century Fox and asking "can you give the rights back to Marvel?". They'll show you the exit. Ohhh...this was terrible. Reed Richards, with the help of a "scientific" team, devise an inter dimensional teleportation device where one journey causes the team to gain powerful abnormalities. Where do I even start!? This is clearly Fox's fault. I can only assume that director Trank had a clear vision, and at times there are glimpses of greatness, but the studio had to get involved to keep the rights to the franchise and quickly release this reboot before they were offered to another distributor. Rushed is an understatement. You don't need to be a film critic or aficionado to notice the abhorrent production issues. Mara wearing a wig one scene and not the next, the rapidest anti-climatic third act ever, horrendous visual effects (ewww) and no attention to creating a riveting screenplay. I can't even claim the script to be mediocre, it's just the worst. 'Fant4stic: Plot Conveniences Strike Back' would've been more apt. None of it makes sense. Every line of dialogue is spoken with such monotony and only acts as a necessary mean to further the unimaginative plot, resulting in no character development. Every cast member was terribly miscast. Teller wasn't trying, Jordan couldn't be bothered, Mara was dull as always, Bell had no opportunities and Kebbell was criminally misused. No emotional connection between these characters in the slightest. Heck, Johnny had a more emotive friendship in the first five seconds of meeting Reed than he did with his own sister! Why attend school fairs? How did Victor survive a year? Where did the cape come from!? This isn't a film, it's a tool!! A god damn tool!! Fantastic this is not.

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