White House Down (2013)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  4 / 10

  White House Down plays out more like a teen interpretation of 'Olympus Has Fallen'. You get yourself a hot young lead actor, a musician turned Oscar winner, a director who essentially ejaculates shoddy visual effects that reek of mediocrity and top it off with a story that feels reminiscent to 'Die Hard'...however feels more like 'Die Soft'. Put them all together and you get White House Down, a film so unnecessary and unfortunate with the timing of its release (the same year as 'Olympus Has Fallen') that you start to question its existence. The White House is under attack, the president and government officials are held hostage as terrorists cause havoc and seek demands. John McClane was busy in Moscow, so they got Channing Tatum instead...honestly, I've already forgotten his character's name. Right, so here's the problem. There are unrealistic films that are fun, and then there are fun films that are unrealistic. This falls into the former category. Why? Well alright, here we go! One scene in particular: the president and a "secret service agent" are driving around the front lawn in an armoured limousine being chased down by three SUVs with machine guns, rocket launchers and assault rifles. The president, and I kid you not, gets a rocket launcher as he peers out of the passenger window and fires it. Seriously? Could you imagine Trump doing that? Sweet lord his hair would be all over the place. To conclude, this film is a visual effects mess weighed down by a "comedic" screenplay that hosts an uninspired plot and derivative action. Foxx and Tatum have good chemistry sure, and Clarke still remains decent (although always chooses poor films). And yes, you could say some parts are enjoyable. But Emmerich is so stuck in the past, that the film immediately feels outdated. It's not 1996 anymore, come on! His excessive patriotism is just too much for me. Don't even get me started on the comedic relief that constantly missed, much like the mercenaries who can't fire their weapons for toffee! Just go watch 'Olympus Has Fallen' instead, as this White House is staying down.

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