My Soul to Take (2010)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  My Soul To Take grabbed my spirit, repeatedly slashed it and left it to percolate fake blood. A five year hiatus for the late Wes Craven since his previous directorial efforts, and he came up with this? I could hear whispers communicating with my mind as I watched this. "Luke, your soul really is mine to take! Good luck!". Because flipping heck this was bad. I'm talking really terrible. I'm positive my neighbours could hear me 'Scream' when I experienced this 'New Nightmare' (more on that later...). A schizophrenic serial killer is allegedly killed, sixteen years later the same killer ("Riverton Ripper") hunts seven chosen teenagers all born on the same day of his death. There's something to do with the "Ripper's" evil soul passing through one of the teenagers...and some stabbing...an annual puppet ritual...some prayers...yeah. Did I care? No. Will you care? No. It's uninteresting. Craven takes this outdated approach that recycles the same elements from his other slasher flicks, in an attempt to create something new. Didn't work I'm afraid. It came off as an expired piece, stuck in an endless loop of reminiscence and the need for nostalgia. The plot is just nonsensical. It started off as a high school comedy, establishing each of the hideously dull teenagers as one of them humorously hides in the girls' bathroom and another overtly religious individual prays for everyone. Each teenager is supposed to have a differing personality, but they exhume featureless unimaginative qualities making it impossible to differentiate between them. Then the slashing scenario overpowers the narrative's tone, with four of the teenagers being tamely slaughtered within five minutes. Spewing majestic fake blood because y'know, got to enforce those gimmicky 3D effects y'all! I mean, why not!? Do it! That leaves the rest of the film to theorise and paraphrase about the happenings that have occurred. Leading to a stupid conclusion with a stupid ending as it relishes in its own stupidity. Knife fights, a blind kid stumbling into a closet without being seen and more unimaginative stabbings.
  
  It's not 96' anymore Craven! Evolve with the times! You can't just simply replicate a genre piece nearly a decade and a half later and expect the same results. It's necessary to cast credible actors who will deliver the performances required to captivate audiences, the campy cheesiness of the 80s and 90s has gone. Goodbye. Sayonara. Sure, Thieriot is a beautiful creature and I want to have his babies, but it's not an excuse for dullness. Honestly, I'm not too sure what this film wanted to be. What was a nostalgia bomb rapidly turned into a box office bomb with a beautiful lead star (that's literally the justification for my rating). I can only surmise my review with a Pokémon reference. My Soul To Take used Slash, but nothing happened.

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