What To Expect When You're Expecting was expectedly dull and an unexpected baby repellent. As a sexual of the homo variety, with no desire for children/offspring/minions ever, I knew right from the first onscreen pregnancy test that I was not the intended audience member. That's fine. Having said that, all I requested was for a watchable comedy that could manage to maintain some sort of endearing smile on my face. Wait. What's that? Jennifer Lopez re-enacting her unique performance from 'Gigli'? Well, there goes my smile! Urgh. A handful of couples in different situations (but with a very, minuscule, ridiculous connection to each other) undergo the "greatest experience a human can go through"...pregnancy.
Ensemble casts, aside from 'Love Actually', rarely work for me. Narrative structures that are far too disjointed, shifting between couple A to couple C back to couple B and then introducing couple Q. It's an unimaginative sprawling mess in a bid to explore various different backgrounds of the same topic. Adoptions, miscarriages, screaming births, calming births and surgical extractions. There's only so many baby bumps I can take in one film before I castrate myself. Sure, the cast members themselves were fine to watch. Banks and Kendrick in particular managed to stop me from falling asleep. But when they're given a script that is as unfunny as Jennifer Lopez popping out of a uterus singing her latest hit single "On The Floor (feat. Pitbull)", I can't really applaud their performances.
Over half of the cast were painfully woeful, mostly Wilson, Diaz and Lopez. The connections between these couples were uninspired and boring. They all apparently had sexy time, roughly around the same day/night, so that they could give birth on the same day. It's a miracle! What were the odds! Even Lopez adopts an Ethiopian child on the same day! I'm sure if you're feeling a bit broody and can find laughter in the most mundane of scripts, then go ahead and give it a go. Else, I'd recommend using a condom or some sort of protection to escape these baby shenanigans.