The Apparition (2012)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  1 / 10

  The Apparition apparently appeals aplenty albeit abhorrently. You see that alliteration right there? There's more creativity and originality in that sentence in comparison to the whole film. Oh. My. God. It's just a montage of scenes from other horror films. A disgusting excuse for a production company to release such an atrocious piece of cinema. A young couple move into a new house, which I have no idea how they could afford, where they start experiencing 'Paranomal Activity'. A 'Ghost' that has a more 'Insidious' agenda compared to the likes of 'Casper'. Rather predictably, it is revealed to have a 'Grudge' against the boyfriend who took part in an experiment to communicate with the afterlife. Turns out the supernatural are no longer 'The Quiet Ones'. Honestly, and I mean this with full sincerity...the only redeeming factor was the occasional scene that gave me 'Goosebumps'. Everything else was an atrocity. Stan (bless him...it's not his fault, much) and Greene had no chemistry whatsoever, no idea why this 'Sinister' 'Poltergeist' wanted to waste their time 'Haunting' this incredibly dull couple. The first act details their daily lives as they shop adventurously in CostCo, to which they debate on purchasing a tent. A tent! A God damn tent!? Should've bought a 'Ouija' board, am I right? The scares are non-existent and most certainly will not make you 'Scream' with fright. The demonic entity seems to bathe in 'The Darkness' to which the scariest action it performs is turning the 'Lights Out', or messing up a girl's wardrobe. Also seems to like growing mould around the house...such an inconvenience, 'Dark Water' would've been more effective. The narrative consists of repeating a chore (taking out the rubbish or installing security cameras), then a "scare" and then pretending it's not a ghost even though they know it is...literally loops this structure like it's a 'Ring'. The dialogue is lifeless like a bunch of 'Flatliners' and convincingly has no 'Pulse'. An unforgivable excuse of a horror film that made me both angry and sleepy.

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