Rings (2017)

User Review

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  Rings made my head go round in circles, trying to determine how diabolical it was. Can we just take the time to appreciate the original Japanese horror and the American remake. Just...a little bit longer...ok done. The scariest thing about this convoluted mess of pointlessness was that it wasn't titled 'The Ring Three'...they just pluralised it instead. Ignore the first two good chapters, we follow the two most boring young adults in existence as they uncover the truth behind the demonic TV ghost-lady, Samara. However, a professor comes across the tape and...oh forget it, I can't be bothered describing the plot. This. Was. Pointless. Why does this even exist!? Who possibly thought this was a good idea! Rehashing the same plot points from its predecessors and somehow turning it into an incoherent ball of blahhhh. There's more clarity in Samara's tape which consists of ambiguous imagery that looked like it was filmed in the 1960s! I feel for her, I really do. Now that a professor (someone who has a doctorate in something, obviously) creates an experiment where students watch the tape. Get this though, prepare yourself, in order to avoid dying in seven days they have to copy a '.mov' file and get someone else to watch it. That...was the best they could come up with. Poor old Samara is having to phone everyone whispering "seven dayssss" as if it's a full time job! Then once the mystery is "solved", in which amounts to nothing, there is a final plot twist. You see that tagline on the front cover? "Evil is reborn"? Spoiler alert, that's the final twist. But heck, you guys won't care. It's riddled with atrocious acting, coincidences upon coincidences in a coincidental story about coincidences, legitimately zero scares and the stupidest first scene ever. Only Gutiérrez's creative directing style prevents this from getting the worst score. My god, this was bad. Makes 'The Ring' look like a masterpiece. Yikes!

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