Jupiter Ascending (2015)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  4 / 10

  Jupiter Ascending ironically descends into an incomprehensible space opera. In an age where blockbusters are either sequels, reboots or part of a cinematic universe, it is absolutely refreshing to witness an ambitious original epic. But this...this was not the way to do it. Before you comment "this had so many good ideas though!" I am not reviewing a conceptualised thesis of what the film could've been, I am simply critiquing what was shown to me in the film. It is not my fault that The Wachowski's primarily focused on world building rather than constructing a cohesive story. The story...well...is about Jupiter Jones who discovers she has intergalactic ancestry that dictates her as the rightful owner of Earth. A powerful family attempt to force her to abdicate those rights so that they can harvest people to fuel their genetic industry. C'mon now, give me credit for outlining the plot in two sentences, because sweet lord you need to write a paragraph to explain the surface of the plot. Overstuffed is an understatement, and that will always be The Wachowski's downfall with every film they produce. Their imagination takes over, as if a child was drawing a house and quickly turns it into a fire-breathing apple. Less is more, especially considering the constraints of a restricted runtime and budget. Visually impeccable, I will say that. The futuristic technology, regal architecture and explosive chaos looked majestic. But, when you recruit Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum as your two lead actors, expect chemistry thinner than hydrochloric acid. They were terrible! Munis looked confused all the time and Tatum lacked any emotion. Then we come to Redmayne as one of the antagonists. I...just feel sorry for him. He created life and most certainly destroyed it, as well as his acting credibility. The screenplay was atrocious. Injecting a forced romance amid dialogue that only acts as exposition and plot detailing. There's no time for character development, no time at all! Jupiter needs to ascend and save the cosmos or something. Not a galactic atrocity, but easily their weakest film.

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