Parker (2013)
2013
R
118 Minutes
A thief with a unique code of professional ethics is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead. Assuming a new disguise and forming an unlikely alliance with a woman on the inside, he looks to h...
User Review
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Parker grabs his violent vengeance by teasing an unsympathetic estate agent. Palm Beach, Florida. A secluded island lavished with intimidating properties and aromatised in money. Where freshly cemented streets are illuminated by golden lights. Island access only possible via a drawbridge, enhancing the security of its inhabitant. The perfect yet improbable location to steal a myriad of jewellery worth millions of dollars. Well, not for Parker. A meticulous criminal who constructs elaborate plans to steal cash, often wearing questionable disguises. But before Palm Beach, there was the Ohio State fair. His recruited greedy peers left Parker for dead, and now he wants revenge. Who’s the man for the task? Jason God damn Statham. That’s who! The only actor who churns out the same broody character and yet somehow magnetises his performance with bravura.
Hackford’s adaptation of the nineteenth book in the Parker series (no idea why that specific one) started with much promise. The state fair robbery was packed full of energy, entertainment and as much mediocrity one can expect from a straightforward Statham action flick. The double crossing within the tightly confined SUV was palpable, with McLaughlin’s plot moving briskly onwards. New identity created, lover’s house invaded and now permanently “off the grid”. Parker’s violent stance gradually diminished over time. Then, we’re introduced to the elongated Palm Beach scenario that seemingly does not end. Cruising around the island searching for houses, Parker encounters estate agent Leslie Rodgers.
Ladies and gentlemen, this bring me to Parker’s inherent issue: Jennifer Lopez. Now, it’s not so much her. She’s fine. Passable. A characterless object for the camera to zone in on her legendary cheeks. The problem is her character. This depressing, self-loathing, pessimistic, whiny woman who we, apparently, need to feel sorry for. The whole “I’m tired of helping the rich when I can’t afford the lease on my surprisingly expensive car and still live with my mom!” thing. If her character had any personality, other than smelling of desperation, then perhaps empathy could’ve been produced. Leslie was an incredibly irritating one-dimensional beast, that clearly had “no chance” with Parker. The shift in narrative focus towards her pretty much slaughtered the entire second half. Parker is no longer the main event. It’s Leslie. Should’ve just called this “Leslie”. Heck, I’ll even take the choppily edited bloody balcony brawl over Leslie!
Regardless, it’s an “action” film with Statham in the lead role. You know exactly what you are getting yourself involved in. Watchable and dare I say decent in some parts, despite Leslie’s existence, but utterly forgettable the next day.0 member like this review.
