A team of U.S. archaeologists unearths an ancient pyramid buried deep beneath the Egyptian desert. As they search the pyramid's depths, they become hopelessly lost in its dark and endless catacombs...
The Pyramid crumbles into an ancient Egyptian mess. Here's hoping Anubis doesn't measure my beating heart on the scales of the afterlife, because with what I'm about to say I don't think he'll approve. This is, by far, one of the worst "found footage" horror films I've ever seen. In fact, it's actually so generically terrible, that I wondered if the characters were really in a pyramid or the basement of a Hollywood studio, trying to claw their way to freedom and receive that elusive pay check. A group of archaeologists, along with Jay from 'The Inbetweeners' as the cameraman, discuss the importance of archaeology before entering a newly discovered three-sided pyramid that is a tomb for the Egyptian God Anubis.
Firstly, what in the actual hell is Anubis doing wandering the pitch black corridors of a frickin' underground pyramid? Secondly, and this is a direct note to Levasseur, if you're going to use the "found footage" technique, stick with it. Switching between handheld and static cameras makes absolutely no sense and is as flimsy as a strand of papyrus. Oh, and to include a score is non-sensical. Thirdly, if you wanted to copy 'As Above, So Below' but switch the location, at least make it half as interesting. Please!
Aside from the intriguing thin layer of Egyptology, The Pyramid has as much logical sense as the Book of the Dead. Uncharismatic, unlikeable and problematic archaeologists that struggle to read the most basic of hieroglyphs, let alone attempt to survive a dusty tomb for an hour. CGI monstrosities that burnt my retinas causing temporary blindness (thank you!). Production design that exhumed an extremely low budget, such as pyramid walls clearly resembling chunks of polystyrene. Pharaohs had a bigger budget than that! An underdeveloped sub-plot involving conflict in Cairo, which apparently forced these characters to pack up and depart, despite being located miles away from the city. The film is plagued with ineffective jump-scares, so much so that it indeed concluded on one. Urgh. Leave this pyramid buried forever. Not worth your time in investigating its labyrinthian corridors.
