Morbius (2022)

User Review

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  d_riptide

  2 / 10

  Just when I think Sony can’t un-suck themselves further, the overcooked melting pot of hype, intrigue and false advertising known as Morbius highlights Sony at their usual hands-on money-grubbing worst once again.
  
  As a hybrid freak of a vampire movie, superhero movie and a horror movie, this cliched and sloppily edited origin story not only manages to take the safest, blandest routes possible to bury almost every possible intriguing thread of the story under the surface but it also completely mangles almost everybody and everything involved. Sure, Doctor Who Matt Smiths performance is delightfully blood-sucking and Jared Leto’s performance shows serious commitment to the role but everyone comes off subdued and severely limited even by their usual standards, both in performances and use of characters.
  
  
  Special effects, as expected, are nothing to write home about but cooped alongside the action sequences that are few and far between, they look decent as far as being fluid and propulsive….but that’s where the PG rating and the disastrous editing murder its momentum. Outside of the POV shots, the cinematography makes terribly scarce use of what little we have as production design, any cheesy jokes juxtaposed with the deathly serious tone set in place is a massive contradiction in it of itself, dialogue is terribly dubbed, the mere lack of subsequent characters or character development is infuriating, unmemorable music coupled with just flat-out stealing music for certain scenes was an eyebrow raiser and Daniel Espinosa’s directing is perhaps the biggest missed opportunity here; the beginning shows how intrigued he is on actually exploring how the desperation to save lives can be very destructive if you don’t take perimeters in mind but unlike Andy Serkis with Let There Be Carnage, he can’t work around the PG-13 rating to give us that same consistency throughout.
  
  
  And consistency is the biggest issue with the story at hand.
  
  
  At best, the conflict that makes up the plot is deeply generic and feels like a repeat of the first Venom movie. At worst, I swear I almost had an aneurysm trying to keep track of all the story inconsistencies and logic gaps within the entire runtime; they really tried to crowbar in and out as many details as possible that they can’t even be bothered to follow their own made-up rules at the end of the day. It felt like it was supposed to be 2 hours and while the first act highlighted what could’ve been, it feels like just enough was ripped out to where attempting to cover the massive gapping holes left by the missing content was already indecipherable.
  
  
  
  
  This is essentially an early 2000’s pre-MCU film and on that level, I would’ve been indifferent to it being as meandering mediocre as Venom. But Sony using the MCU and the multiverse as a crutch to stand on while blatantly false advertising this as something it’s not, that’s just going to hurt this film even more in the long run and even going in with no expectations, Sony left nothing but a bloodless corpse in its place.

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