Apollo 18 (2011)

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  TheMovieDiorama

  2 / 10

  Apollo 18 is thinner than the Moon's atmosphere. Y'know, the "found footage" sub-genre works well for specific environments. Supernatural low-budget hits like 'Paranomal Activity' and 'Grave Encounters' are suitable (I guess...) and provide a few chills. Not many, but a few. This technique really does not work for a sci-fi horror featuring two astronauts on the "official" Apollo 18 catastrophe where they encounter space rock lobsters. "Rock lobster!". There is a lesson to be learnt here. Guys, don't pick up random rocks from environments you are not familiar, and yes that does include your back garden. Because these rocks could grow legs, crawl into your space suit, explode and infect you...and stuff. Yeah, nothing much to say except this was boring. The all too familiar technique used frequently in many low-budget horrors did not work for this premise. At all. The overuse of choppy editing to make the frame rate of the footage feel disjointed was visually unappealing. Actually, the whole film was dull. The lunar rock lobster spider arachnid alien things had more personality than all of the astronauts put together (not saying much!). Considering the runtime was less than ninety minutes, I could not wait for this to finish. Why? Because nothing happens. They are simply stuck on the Moon, gracefully skipping across the surface wasting time before one of them actually decides to leave. I'm sure there was a reason as to why they couldn't leave immediately, but heck I couldn't care. I immediately lost interest about five minutes into this snoozefest. Acting was generic, scares were ineffective and it's another case of supposedly intelligent individuals performing stupid actions. "There's something moving in his suit!", well don't put your hand in it then! For flip sake! It's not going to be a cuddly chihuahua! 'Apollo Chihuahua'...no wait, 'Chihuahua 18'. Anyway as I was saying, an incredibly boring pointless film that, despite an intriguing premise, falls faster than a rocket failing to lift off. And there I was hoping for Hanks and Bacon to come and save the day...

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