I remember during my CATS Zoom call that Evan Markov and Carlos Cordero briefly talked about the film “365 Days” and discussing which was the worst porno between this, 365 Days or Fifty Shades Of Grey and when I found out that the film (and book) was essentially a fanfiction to a series of books that were already fanfiction to begin with (and a terrible one at that), it slowly peaked my interest. Needless to say, I should’ve stopped right at the thinking process instead of going all the way to actually.....witness this caldron of eyerape.
Outside of dismal dialogue, poor character development and very amateurish acting, the fact that it bares a very, and I mean VERY uncanny resemblance to the Fifty Shades trilogy alone was enough to leave a heavy metallic taste in my mouth, especially when you consider how it romanticizes and glorifies being kidnapped against your will among other things as well as a toxic relationship. The amount of times the film demands you suspend your manner of disbelief is incompetently staggering due to the direction being taken, the songs can get obnoxious despite actually being better produced than from Sex And The Future, most of the scenes are highly repetitive, dialogue is cringe, acting is cringe, and the plot is absolutely absurd, cliched and, above all, predictable. Can you believe how corny and cringy and boring and cartoonish and unnatural this is for, basically, a 1hr 50 minute—seriously, Brazzers can and have pulled off more entertaining sex movies than this and believe me when I tell you: I know they have. To give the film some credit though, cinematography and editing is decent and the same can be said for set and costume design. And....I can’t believe I’m saying this but the sex scenes are.....fine? And yet even after that, it’s like ‘What the hell’s the point?’ because if sex is the entire point of this, if sex is the endgame, the plot, the build-up to that inevitable climax, that’s essentially porn. And this is porn without ANY of the payoff.
However, I guess I can say I wasn’t expecting that ending but then again, it’s practically sequel bait and I doubt I’d want to sit through another two hours of this in a follow-up.
This doesn’t come anywhere remotely close to healthy or enthralling or even sexy but then again, I should’ve expected that from an unpopular fanfiction based off of another unpopular fanfiction based off of a heavily despised book and film series from the late 2000’s. Seriously, Twilight, Fifty Shades, 365 Days, does it really matter which one is worse? Because of how interconnected they are with each other due to their stances on toxic controlling relationships with a romantically involved couple you don’t give a shit about, they’re all exactly the damn same.
