Artemis Fowl (2020)

User Review

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  d_riptide

  1 / 10

  There laid multiple instances throughout “Artemis Fowl” that flat out told me it didn’t know whether it wanted to be another forgettable kids fantasy adventure, one of the most frustrating YA book to film adaptations yet or just a major annoyance and for an intended franchise starter that’s been passed down to many different writers and directors and stuck in development hell since the friggin’ books were popular, this was might as well have stayed in development hell if this was always the intended outcome. This is practically defective from the mediocre to awful acting chops to the extensive lack of worldbuilding, bland visuals that seem to blend in together so bloody atrociously, laughable CGI, no definable characters or character development, no definable arcs, no memorable setpieces, no narrative, no personality or atmosphere to the fray, the film is more of a wannabe Harry Potter and lesser mans Spy Kids film that has no earthly idea how out of date it feels and looks and by abandoning the original character and cobbling together broken story shards and spare parts from the books, director Kenneth Branagh and company have produced something off an assembly line: safe, generic, utterly disposable and doesn’t give newcomers or fans of the books anything they would be searching for.⁣
  ⁣
  Outside of COVID-19, it makes sense why Disney decided to put this on Disney Plus: I don’t think even they had much faith in this movie doing well at the box office or just critically for the matter. But what makes it worse than all the other live action films Disney has out is because it is 20-f’n-20: the fact that Disney, now 6 years into pumping out crappy live action remake after another, is continuing to carry out this lazy writing with no changes is becoming more and more insulting. Give us effort, give us respect, show us you care again. Enough is enough already.

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