A small group of survivors are left behind after millions of people suddenly vanish during the rapture and the world is plunged into chaos and destruction.
Left Behind summons Satan himself to relinquish the souls of those who decide to watch this piece of religious propaganda. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I’ve committed many immoral acts of evil during my time on this bountiful land you have *apparently* created for us. Supporting atheism. Embracing homosexuality. Becoming a pathological liar. Hell, excuse my blasphemy, I’ve even stolen a deck of ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’ cards when I was a child. Not proud of that one! Suffice to say, my soul is as “Dirrty” as Christina Aguilera. But my biggest sin is one I’ve committed recently. In fact, to be specific, last night. I bravely watched Left Behind. A piece of Christian propaganda where the world experiences a biblical rapture and everyone is running around losing their “God damn honey!”. And, without coming across as insensitive, oh my God it’s worse than attending Sunday Service!
Sensationalist propaganda that ham-fists Christian revelatory views upon its audience with atrocious acting, inexcusable writing and misplaced direction. Cage is a pilot. “See my badge?”. And he doesn’t care. Because when the screenplay insists on having a couple of delusional characters preach Christian teachings at every possible opportunity, that’s what God wanted apparently, I don’t blame him. This rapturous apocalypse drives everyone crazy. Civilians purposefully stealing things to highlight how sinful they are. Even driving our protagonist to attempt suicide. The world is manic, and it’s “God’s” fault. But it’s fine. Honestly! Armstrong depicts our beloved deity as a beacon of generosity. What he/she/it/I don’t care has bestowed upon this persecuted land is a blessing. Because, y’know, we weren’t Cher and we didn’t “Believe” (auto-tune included...), so why do we deserve to be saved?
Urgh, this got too deep for a review. Keeping it short and sweet, it’s one of the worst films I’ve endured. All it took was the rapture to reunite a father and daughter, before tackling an apocalyptic world to which is “only just the beginning”. So start believing in God, or else we’re getting a sequel...
