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Piranha 3D stupidly bites and chomps its way to the third dimension. Remaking Dante's 1978 original was bound to happen at some point. Hollywood has run out of ideas for fishy B-movie horrors. So here we have a modernisation of the schlock-fest th... Read the full review »

The First Avenger confidently throws its shield in enjoyable acts of heroism. Captain America. The man everyone wants to become. Pure hearted, self-sacrificing bravery and a body that could make anyone swoon (me especially). This phase one origin... Read the full review »

My Bloody Valentine 3D mines for quality slashing with its rusty pickaxe. These gimmicky horror remakes from the late 00s were plaguing the horror genre. Low-budget yet profitable adaptations that remove any charm the original contained. For this... Read the full review »

Virgin School fuels the ever-pointless challenge of losing one's virginity. Apparently, losing your virginity is such a big issue and a massive step into "becoming a man", that there is a course in Amsterdam that allows students to enrol and lose... Read the full review »

Stronger picks itself up from dramatic clichés with its burly Boston grit. The Boston marathon bombings were, at the time of this review, six years ago. Six years since the stable city had its foundations shaken to the core by an act of terrorism... Read the full review »

Trailers aren’t meant to be the best parts of the movie (for me anyway),but when they show new scenes of Spider-Man Far From Home (the Venice battle sequence) and Avengers Endgame (even the little parts are spoiler heavy),you know it’s gonna b... Read the full review »

Jordan Peele's mind is nothing short of a masterful laboratory of cinematic horror. Peele uses the intrinsic fear of one's inner demons and manifests it on screen as a symphony of evil. Lupita Nyongo's performance is incredibly terrifying, and... Read the full review »

Animism presents an unusual sexual attraction but with no depth or analysis. Object Sexuality, or "OS" if you can't be bothered to constantly say the whole blurb, is the attraction to inanimate objects. Not necessarily a physical relationship, but... Read the full review »

Classic film. Well-directed, well-performed. Very important subject matter. Read the full review »

Tim Burton’s take on “Dumbo” has spectacles ablaze and emotions running rampant but it’s overstuffed plot and subordinary length of characters proves to be less than marvelous, almost setting the legacy of this 1941 classic literally on fi... Read the full review »

Piranha nibbles its way through pure B-movie schlock. The 70s. The box office was ruled by shark infested waters thanks to the masterpiece that was 'Jaws'. Many amateur directors at the time were capitalising on its success, which soon started a n... Read the full review »

Goodbye Christopher Robin nostalgically hikes through the Hundred-Acre Woods at a pedestrian pace. A. A. Milne is widely regarded as one of the greatest authors of all time. His imaginative books involving Winnie-the-Pooh are often vital pieces of... Read the full review »

Dumbo joyfully takes flight in this bloated re-imagining. Disney's original animation, whilst groundbreaking during its initial release, contained too many outdated elements that hindered its overall timelessness. And if you strongly disagree with... Read the full review »

Shoplifters steals your heart and uplifts your spirits through an endearing family drama. Director Kore-eda has done it again. Another searing family interconnected through intricate life experiences that shape their very own characteristics. To p... Read the full review »