GoldenEye (1995)

User Review

• 

  thismoviestinks

  6 / 10

  This first Brosnan film was a juggernaut at the box office, earning a stunning profit of nearly $300M worldwide. Whether this was due to the long wait between films or excitement over a new actor in the role of James Bond, I can’t say for sure, but audiences ate this up. Not only was the film a hit, but the video game tie-in for the N64 is considered one of the best first-person shooters ever made, and was a staple of my childhood. Because of this, I already knew all of these characters, and had many of the set layouts burned into my brain without realizing it. What I didn’t accurately recall was the film itself, which I had only seen once or twice before. My memories were generally positive walking into this.
  
  
  Goldeneye begins with one of the better Bond pre-credit sequences; it’s a fast-paced sabotage mission featuring several impressive stunts. On this mission Bond is aided by fellow MI6 operative Alec Trevelyan, Agent 006 (Sean Bean). Watching Bond work in tandem with a contemporary is a refreshing change, it’s something we rarely see, and makes the idea of a wide-reaching spy organization feel more fleshed out. 006 is captured and executed while Bond narrowly escapes im a commandeered Russian plane. Excellent opening, but the film makes a disappointing pivot after Tina Turner’s final note fades away.
  
  Nine years have passed, and Bond is back to doing some very cliché Bond things, his rebranding from the introduction seemingly forgotten. He enters into a car chase with a stranger for kicks, seduces a woman with a bottle of Bollinger, plays baccarat in a tux, and recites all the iconic lines much earlier than I wanted to hear them. Brosnan’s chance to develop his own take on the character has already evaporated, this script has stuffed him into Moore and Connery’s shoes, unconcerned with the fit.
  
  Somewhere around the 20-minute mark, this film seems to lose interest in Bond, and focuses on other characters for far too long. We follow our beautiful villainess Xenia (Famke Janssen), a Russian agent who is sexually aroused by violence, as well as two computer programmers, Natalya (Izabella Scorupco) and Boris (Alan Cumming), both working at a secret Russian facility where a satellite-based weapon called the “Goldeneye” is housed. While these characters aren’t doing much for me, I am grateful that the general plot is far less convoluted than in previous films, making Goldeneye feel decidedly uncluttered. It’s more in keeping with a proper detective story than the ludicrous ‘world held hostage by a madman’ plot that Blofeld would have entered into. I’m appreciating this aspect of the film at least.
  
  Goldeneye’s one distinguishing characteristic is its modernization of the way our notorious lothario is perceived by women. We’re used to the relentless pining of Moneypenny, and the way in which any woman Bond encounters will eventually want to bed him, but that’s out the door in 95′ (well, initially). Our new Moneypenny shuts down Bond’s crass innuendo, citing sexual harassment, and exhibiting a complete lack of interest. M--now played by Judi Dench--calls him “a sexist, misogynist dinosaur”, a line that made me gasp in delight. This isn’t a world that seems to like the Bond of old, in fact, it considers him a relic. Well done on the gender politics, I only wish the film had the nerve to stick with it. By the time the second act gets going, we’re back to easy sex and salacious puns.
  
  An hour in and Goldeneye begins hitting all the familiar beats. Once the villains have their plot in motion, Bond is tasked with disruption, and visits Q for a rundown on the new gear. This is actually one of the better scenes, Desmond Llewelyn is certainly showing his age, but puts on a good show.
  
  I’m staring to watch the clock and curse the pacing, which has slowed considerably. I find Bond’s investigations dull, and I don’t care much about Natalya or her attempt at escaping detection. What’s worse is that Brosnan is beginning to lean on too many groan inducing one-liners, and I can feel myself gradually turning against him.
  
  Bond eventually locates and confronts the oft-mentioned Janus, head of a Russian crime syndicate. Here’s the twist: Janus is Alec Trevelyan. Yes, 006’s death was faked, and now these former MI6 colleagues are enemies. There’s a great deal of awful exposition between the two where we learn about the parentage of each man, and why Trevelyan turned to crime. The time to introduce this information would have been earlier in the film when the two were working together, a line or two could have been dropped to set this up. The way these revelations are presented feels tacked on and unearned. It’s the kind of writing that makes me grind my teeth.
  
  Additional Bond tropes follow. Rather than simply shoot Bond, Trevelyan creates a time-sensitive trap, but does't stick around to confirm its success. Predictably, our hero escapes, and my eyelids are beginning to sag. Gratefully, I’m soon thrust out of my lethargy as the film gives us a pair of excellent action scenes to open the third act. Bond and Natalya escape a subverted interrogation in spectacular, fire-at-will fashion. This leads into a tank chase through a city where much mayhem ensues. A scene of this kind lacks the finesse I normally associate with the suave secret agent, but I’ll go along with it.
  
  The chase ends at Trevelyan’s train where another timed trap is sprung and--after cheating death yet again--Bond and Natalya inexplicably get busy on the tracks. After this we spend far too much time with the new lovers as they travel to Cuba, acting like tourists on a resort vacation. Let me tell you, the shoddiest meth lab on earth is pulling off better chemistry than Brosnan and Scorupco; the beach and bedroom scenes between these two are nearly unwatchable. The film would have benefitted immeasurably from cutting this junk, and inserting much needed Bond/Trevelyan backstory sequences. I’d even prefer a flashback scene, that’s how desperate I’m feeling.
  
  This leads us to the final action where Xenia is dispatched in a very odd helicopter stunt, and Bond and Trevelyan end up mano a mano. Bond prevails, destroys the base, and gets the girl. I truly wish this climax at the antennae cradle were more exciting, but it’s just more of the same old cookie cutter Bond action. There is a pretty good gag with a pen grenade, but that’s hardly enough to redeem these tropes. Imagine if the screenwriters had used their pens to punch up this script rather than demolish yet another super villain base.
  
  Goldeneye’s screenplay was authored by four people--two uncredited--and you can feel this lack of creative unity in the film. Goldeneye is an uneven patchwork of cliches--a clumsy, Frankensteinian collection of explosions and unfinished ideas, lacking clear vision or intention. Although successfully modernizing Bond, this film feels shockingly played out when I would have expected something reinvigorating after the long post-Dalton recess. With the exception of this first film, my memories of Brosnan’s Bond era are overwhelmingly negative--I thought Goldeneye was the one sparkling diamond in a pile of turds. After seeing this again, I’m hardly optimistic about what’s to come.

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