Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

User Review

• 

  thismoviestinks

  5 / 10

  There are a number of observations to be made about Murder on the Orient Express, but one stands above all the others: Kenneth Branagh loves him some Kenneth Branagh. So much so that his impressive co-stars become totally irrelevant behind the onscreen domination of the film's director and lead performer. I enjoy an expertly fashioned, old-timey moustache as much as the next guy, but everything in moderation.
  
  MOTOE is beautifully photographed, occasionally funny, and woefully unremarkable. Branagh injects very little character into his film; there's nothing to set it apart from any comparable drama or mystery picture. He's also getting next to nothing from his talented actors; they should be lighting up the screen instead of being squeezed into stock performances. Branagh tells the tale well enough, but without the ability to maximize the potential of this cast it's all for nothing.
  
  I believe I can remain spoiler free while also saying that my brain rejected the main conceit of the final reveal. That's obviously an issue with Agatha Christie's story and not the adaptation, even so the third act was too implausible to be thrilling, and I left the theatre feeling unmoved.
  
  If Murder on the Orient Express were an ice cream flavor it would be pistacio. Sure, it's still ice cream, but don't you deserve better?

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