Hellboy comes to England, where he must defeat Nimue, Merlin's consort and the Blood Queen. But their battle will bring about the end of the world, a fate he desperately tries to turn away.
Let's just accept that the Producers of *insert movie name here* are the real baddies of the whole Production. First Avi Arad,now this…
Also,whoo boy,the things you CAN'T do with an $80 Million Budget… Anywho…
Judging from how you read my reviews,you already know the gig,right? Even if a movie is horrible or not Cinema-worthy,I still try to find good things about it,even if they're so small,it won’t matter anyway.
Judging from the trailers,HellBoy looked super killer and meta. The style was great,the casting choices are phenomenal,and it tries hardcore not to be a cash-in of Guillermo Del Toro's movies. (Which,ironically,both versions have directors known for the Horror and/or Supernatural material)
And after such a long wait,and the abysmal last minute Production Hell article it had post-embargo,it’s safe to say that HellBoy is not really good. Fans of the Comic Book will really dig it,since there’s almost everything from the source material,but for others,it’s going to be “Just another No-Brainer”. Because that’s what this new version of HellBoy is: suddenly,Lionsgate (and the 19 producers credited on this thing. Ouch…) has taken one of the most underrated heroes in a long time,and turned it into another Action Movie that you will have fun at,and then you’ll instantly forget what you saw (kinda like Non-Stop or the Taken franchise,and...I think A Good Day To Die Hard?),and they thought they did their job well,so here’s a post credit tease for an unlikely Sequel.
But I’ll be damned if I say that I had so much fun at it BECAUSE of that.
So many problems come from the Story,but most of the Technical Aspect and the R-Rating save it from being a literal Dumpster Fire.
The effects are great,but it’s too bad the quality of it is garbage,but aside from that,we get a good score by Benjamin Wallfisch that,sometimes,tries to be this weird Junkie XL Clone at times,a traditional Sound Mix that’ll be fun to hear on 4K Blu-Ray (since Lionsgate makes every movie on 4K look God-like) and the Artistic Value on this thing…
You know I’m a sucker for overdone designs of Mythical Creatures and Monsters etc,and man oh MAN,does this have great use of Makeup and Set Design. I also love some of the direction choices they made. Being directed by Neil Marshall,who is a Horror veteran for movies like The Descent,it’s easy to pinpoint several scenes nd be like “This is too grimy!”,even if it’s a random 80’s Jumpscare. (That happens…)
The beginning of the movie is really good too. Introducing you to the nightmare that is the Screenplay,while also putting the R to good use,and its brutality.
The Action scenes are really brutal,maybe more so than the recent R-Rated movies we got. (Yes,that also includes Deadpool cutting someone’s head off and using it as a Soccer Ball)
SO MUCH CARNAGE HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE.
David Harbour as HellBoy is great. He doesn’t beat Ron Pearlman’s portrayal by ANY means possible,but this one feels more reminiscent of Deadpool,only if he was Oh So Angry and Moody all the time,and he was in a HellBoy costume.
But that’s where it all starts to cease and fall apart…
All these good things are put in service of one of the most Exposition-heavy Screenplays I’ve ever seen,beating you over the head with so much exposition and talking,not a single line feels normal or safe from being a line that is filled with past memories,predictions of the future and stuff like that… It was so annoying,but it was luckily saved by the positives I’ve mentioned.
I hate the musical choices they went for the Action sequences. Why do I need a rock beat whenever someone throws punches when I can normally hear a traditional Orchestral action movie music when that happens on screen? Because kids are dumb,that’s why.
For being a pretty bad story,it’s mostly used as a symphony of Action Sequences. Not a good one at that,since sometimes it’s ruined by stutter CG Effects.
And I was kinda pissed off at how they treated two characters. Thomas Haden Church,who randomly appears in here,having one hell of a blast,and another one that I can’t spoil in here. But again,this movie is mostly fun. If you want a Superhero no-brainer before Avengers Endgame shatters the whole world,this one’s for you. If you want a coherent story on the other hand,just watch “Shazam!” again….
P.S. Great post-credit sequence you had there,movie...
