Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

User Review

• 

  Barneyonmovies

  3 / 10

  WHAT I LIKED: You can at least applaud 'Godzilla: King of The Monsters,' for its visuals, as every frame here is frankly breathtaking and the visual effects are virtually flawless. That and some great sound design mean that if you go to the cinema exclusively looking for mindless spectacle, you may well be satisfied here.
  
  WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE: Ultimately though, what Godzilla 2 really winds up being is the most grand-standing and relentlessly over-egged film that I have ever seen, and that ultimately means that all of that spectacle is entirely weightless and actually pretty laughable most of the time.
  
  Yes literally every moment here it feels as though the film is striving to up the dramatic tension and stakes to eleven with its disgustingly sentimental or booming orchestral music, endless set-piece moments of supposed tragedy or miracle, and a script in which every line is either a dramatic speech or a ridiculous reaction to a monster somewhere along the lines of "holy shit." I can only wish that I - sat half-asleep in my theatre seat - had remotely as dramatic a reaction as that to anything screen, as the effect of the film's relentless barrage of over-egged tension and laughable dialogue is that everything becomes exhausting and entirely weightless pretty quickly. As a result, when you see Godzilla clash with other giant monsters, what should be impressive and terrifying feels inconsequential and dull.
  
  I guess the bottom line is that a film which bombards you with tension and never lets-up to build things intelligently (in a way that the first Godzilla and Kong: Skull Island did at least successfully do) is never going to work, and nothing is helped by the fact you don't care a jot about a single one of the human characters either (in fact any death is a relief as it means you don't have to listen to any more cringe-enducing dialogue from that individual).
  
  So in the end you've got yourself a complete misfire of a film that will not only have you thoroughly bored, but also - in my case at least - laughing at the hilarity on display. Please do not support this piece of crap - go and watch something better instead.
  
  VERDICT: Visually spectacular but relentlessly over-egged and laughably grand-standing, 'Godzilla: King of The Monsters,' proves that spectacle a good film doth not make. I don't generally pay to see films I think will be bad, so this really is one of the worst I've seen at the cinema in quite some time. I can only advise you avoid it at all costs and do something more valuable with your time - I suggest watching paint dry.

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